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Do you recall
the very first formal wedding invitation you ever received? The oversized
envelope stuck out, all creamy and smooth, elegantly addressed, perhaps
penned in calligraphy—like a gift—one envelope slipped
inside another, a wisp of tissue paper… and finally, the exquisitely
worded invitation itself. You may have run your fingers over the letters,
artfully raised from the page, the work of fine copper plate engraving.
This classic invitation has been the traditional choice for generations,
yet it was by no means the first form of wedding invitation.
Invitations Of Old
In old England, wedding invitations were usually announced to the public
by bidders, and anyone within earshot became part of the celebration.
In the 18th century, people began publishing wedding invitations in the
newspaper, and in Wales, bidding letters were sent to announce upcoming
nuptials. Native Indians summoned guests via smoke signals, sometimes
accompanied by a birch bark inscription.
In the Middle Ages, nearly everyone was illiterate; therefore writing
anything was considered laborious. The cote d’armes (coat of arms),
or personal crest, was born out of the need to identify a person, as
one’s signature does today, and it was affixed to all objects and
papers of import. Today, the family crest is still the hallmark of class
and individuality, and often appears at the top of a formal wedding invitation.
The Envelope, Please
It is said that the first written wedding invitations were crafted by
European monks in the Middle Ages, experts in the art of calligraphy.
Those who could afford it—usually royalty or high society persons—hired
monks to hand write their wedding invitations. By the 1600s, metal plate
engraving—the same process used today—had been invented,
and fancy engraved invitations became popular. A sheet of tissue paper
was placed on top of the engraving to keep it from smudging; the same
tissue left inside invitations today.
Fine stationery was unknown until the mid-19th century when the ascendancy
of the machine made it possible. Victorians sent engraved wedding invitations
or simple handwritten notes to friends and family, and if mailed, they
were sent just two weeks in advance. However, because of the dubious
mail system, almost all wedding invitations were hand delivered until
the 20th century. Thus the origin of the double envelope, which protected
the invitation from being soiled en route to its destination. The courier
rode up on horseback and handed it to the butler, who discarded the outer
envelope, placing the inner envelope onto a silver tray. This ensured
that Madame’s hands would never come into contact with the filth
of the mail. The postal system has since improved, and most invitations
are mailed today, but the double envelope remains a traditional choice
for many.
Wording
Since the written invitation emerged in society, proper wording has been
key in signifying the degree of a wedding’s formality. The earliest
edition of Emily Post dictates “… the invitation to the
ceremony should always request ‘the honour’ of your ‘presence,’ and
never the ‘pleasure’ of your ‘company.’” (“Honour” is
spelled the old English way, not “honor.”) Names are always
written in full, family order written out, i.e., “Junior,” and
only “Mr., Mrs. and Dr.” may be abbreviated. According to
Ms. Post, the proper wedding invitation form includes the names of the
bride’s parents, and sometimes the name of the guest. Other than
that, nothing—the wording, engraving, paper or double envelope—should
ever be varied.
Today, etiquette rules have relaxed, and the wording of a wedding invitation
may vary, depending on how formal the event. The groom’s parents
are often included, and if the parents are divorced and remarried, all
of their names (if hosting) are included. In the event that the bride
and groom are hosting the wedding themselves, the parents’ names
might not be included at all.
Reception Cards
In the Victorian age, separate reception cards became popular, considering
that not all guests invited to the church were invited to the reception.
Today, these additional cards are sometimes used if the ceremony and
reception are at different locations. If you choose to send them, they
should include the address of the reception as well as a request for
an RSVP
Church Cards and Pew Cards
In cases where the public is not allowed in the church during a wedding,
a small card has traditionally been enclosed with the invitation. The
following is an example given by Emily Post:
Please present this card
at St. John’s Church
on Tuesday the first of November
And for those who are to be seated in designated pews in the church:
Please present this to an usher
Pew Number ___
On Thursday the ninth of May
Invitation Style
Although handwritten or engraved invitations were the only choices until this
century, there are various types of invitations to choose from today.
Engraved—The most formal, this is also the most expensive process. The
paper is pressed onto a metal plate, causing the letters to be raised on the
paper. Once you create a die, you “own” it, and the stationer will
usually keep it on file for you.
Thermography—Described by some as imitation engraving, this process infuses
ink and powder together on paper to create raised lettering. The letters are
not pushed from behind, and no metal plate is used, therefore, this costs about
half as much as engraved invitations.
Offset Printing—In this process, the ink lays flat on the paper for a less
formal look. This is appropriate for an informal wedding.
Home Computer Printing—Perfect for informal invitations, this type of printing
costs the least, yet you can still use elegant fonts and create beautiful borders
and frills with the right software.
Handwritten Calligraphy and Computer Calligraphy—Handwritten calligraphy
is still the most elegant, yet it can be extremely expensive. Many stationery
stores now have calligraphy machines that can inscribe invitations without breaking
the bank. If you love the look of handwritten calligraphy, but can’t afford
to do all of your invitations, consider hiring a calligrapher to address just
the envelopes.
Handwritten Invitations—For those with beautiful penmanship, consider buying
some beautiful paper and handwriting personal invitations with a pretty pen.
However, for a guest list over fifty, this isn’t the most practical method
unless you’ve got time to burn.
Maps
In days of old, most people knew where the church and your home were located,
so it wasn’t necessary to provide a map. Today, maps and directions are
extremely practical, if not crucial in some cases.
Special Invitees
Although they probably won’t attend, if you send a wedding invitation to
the President of the United States, you will receive an acknowledgement signed
by the President and First Lady. If you are Catholic, you may send an invitation
to the Pope, and a lovely papal blessing will be sent to you. Such written responses
can be keepsakes to cherish.
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